Hot flashes, handkerchiefs, and fasting

I may be losing my mind. Five doctors later they are still trying to give me antidepressants, and I will always resist. The side effects alone will make you crazy.

See what I am saying? When I saw "strange dreams" I started to laugh. "Increased sweating" made me LAUGH OUT LOUD.... then my laugh became hysterical, loud, laughter,... out loud, where I could be heard by others.... Indeed.  I emailed my doctor: "I already have these symptoms, give me something else." 

Yeah, and by the way, I am NOT depressed. I am facing some harsh realities of life, that is all.... my problem is hot flashes (best described as 1,000 degrees). Not depression. But along the way, through the five doctors, and I have had other health issues and complaints, and every single one of these doctors has tried to give me anti-depressant medications.  But I digress......

Anyway, that is a NO to the antidepressants,... no "soma" for this woman.  

The Use of Soma to control society.....

I will not march, with the mindless masses, like lemmings off the edge of the cliff.  I have never been a follower.

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Anyway,....the best thing I have this year was to purchase some handkerchiefs.... mens hankies, in a package of multiples.... 13 handkerchiefs.  For the hot flashes,... because I am here to testify that you go from dry to soaking wet in 2.3 seconds.  I have stood at the counter of a convenience store while the clerk watched, amazed, as I went from dry to dripping quite rapidly.  I think I terrified him. (**smile)  Anyway, yes handkerchiefs, because bandanas are a bit flamboyant, and I ain't that eccentric...yet.  So, you may observe me, extracting a white handkerchief from my cleavage (what else is that space for?) and dabbing my forehead, eyes, and temples.... because that is preferable to the uncomfortable feeling of dripping sweat. 

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I have also found that I have some new habits that were neither planned, nor thought out,.... like fasting.  What I was trying to do was the keto diet (I wrote a blog about it a few months back)... and I failed at that.  But I have been trying to lose weight for a long time, and I am stubborn.  The result of all of this effort, the keto diet, and quitting most sugar intake, is that I have taught myself to pay more attention to whether my stomach wants to be fed. (Less attention to what my brain says would be good to eat.)  And I have stopped looking at the clock to tell if it is meal time.  

The result of this is that I eat small-ish snacks mostly between 6:00am and 2:00pm.  And perhaps a very light snack at 7:00pm.  I have reduced food intake to better match what is a mainly sedentary lifestyle.  I walk about a mile a day -to and from my car at work (in a very large manufacturing facility).... and climbing stairs, 13 steps about 14 to 18 times a day.  

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The other new habit is not a choice either, but when I sleep -I sleep like the dead. NOTHING wakes me up during the first 5 or 6 hours of sleep.  Thunder and lightning? nothing. The aforementioned hot flashes? nope.  My dreams are still crazy (see "strange dreams" above in the 'side effects' bit)..... my dreams, every night, would be nightmares for the majority of people.  But again, I digress..... Probably you could drown me in my sleep (wet from hot flashes made me think of this) and I would not waken....  If I knew my neighbors I would apologize for the morning alarm (at 3:45am) that gradually increases in volume until it wakes me up; except for the nights (mornings?) that I wake before the alarm sounds.  

One more thing: the early hour of the alarm notwithstanding: I HATE MORNING.  It does not matter if my morning begins at 3:45am or 10:00am --I will always HATE MORNING. have always hated morning....


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I want a new drug....

it's just song lyrics: I DO NOT want a drug at all.

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