You cannot know.....

CONTENT WARNING: This subject matter may be too sensitive for some people.

Recently there was a murder-suicide in a community near where I live.  In the week since that sad event I have overheard far too many people speculate and outright gossip in public places.  First of all, if you are going to gossip and speculate about things you cannot possibly know or understand –please don’t do that in public places.  That is so very wrong.

This post is about that though…. Suicide, I mean.  Many people simply cannot fathom it in any way at all.

I am an empath –that means that I feel everything.  Too deeply.  Even other people’s feelings.  Perhaps that is one reason I have always distanced myself in some ways.  I can fathom the desperation, the feeling that nothing is in our control.  Life careens out of control –I feel that. I have lived that.  NO, I am not suicidal, I am empathic.  I can feel that feeling of being out on the jagged edge of everything.  I have been in a place where I had no control really,… unemployed, no income, no way of knowing when there would be steady income of an amount that would matter.  (No one in their right mind takes that minimum wage job when the need twice that amount to pay the mortgage, eat, live,… one must be available to work for the “right” amount on a moment notice.)  Also, I have an imagination, I can (actually) imagine because I am an empath, being in a freefall that terrifies a person so much that they seek a release of drastic proportions.

link to article: 10-traits-empathic-people-share

Years ago someone expressed complete confusion over why anyone would commit suicide.  I thought there might be something wrong with that person. But over the years I have paid attention,… I have read and learned of suicides, and murder-suicides, and what few reasons have even been made known.  Often times there is not a real reason stated, and I can certainly understand people not sharing the reasons their loved ones did such a thing.

(All I can say about murder-suicide is that it must be incredibly horrible to feel that desperate and frightened.  That far I cannot ever, no one can, imagine that.)

If you have ever known anyone who committed suicide: I am so very sorry.  I am sorry that your loved one, friend, whomever, felt that desperate, that alone.  I am sorry that no one was able to see the warning signs or hear the perhaps unverbalized plea for help.

And I am sorry for your loss.

All I can do is implore you to listen to your friends and loved ones.  Hug them, make sure they know they are loved. 

And please do not gossip about things you cannot fathom, simply say that you cannot fathom it, and then shut up. (pardon my bluntness)... or talk about it in a private location.

link to: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/    1-800-273-8255

link to: suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/veterans/  1-800-273-8255

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

If you know me personally, and you are getting desperate about life, please call me, you need someone to talk to -anyone, even me. You want it confidential it will be confidential.

.

.

.

.

(For myself, just so you know: I could never do it. suicide. I have trouble working up the nerve to kill an insect. I could never harm a living thing larger than an insect, myself included.) That said, if I am ever declared brain dead –please just pull the plug, because you just don’t come back from brain dead. No joke.