clear your own table...in this cafe .... and other thoughts on dining out...

Welcome to the local cafe.  It's a friendly, warm, inviting place, no? But I must inform you that for all this warmth and comfort, you must do a few things for yourself.  You see, the baristas are not paid to bus the tables.  That, my friends, means that for that wonderful cup of coffee that you paid less than $5.00 for, or if it is plain coffee -less than $3.00 for a large (there is no "venti" here!) you DO NOT leave the cup, or anything else on your table when you leave this cafe.  Do not be a pig.  Your mother does not work here.  You did not see the baristas come out and clear away anyone's trash off any tables.  What you are, if you do not clean up after yourself, is a rude pig.  You have made it difficult for the next person to find a seat, particularly if it busy. THE STAFF AT THIS CAFE IS NOT PAID TO CLEAR THE TABLES, that is NOT their job really.  It is nice in here, but clean up your own table mess. please. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The things people do in public places.  It can be pretty disgusting, sometimes even downright disturbing.  Anyway, don't be a pig, or a slob, or a rude, obnoxious asshat.  The staff is not paid enough salary to have to deal with asshats.  If you don't leave a tip for your server, wherever you have a drink or a meal,..well then stop right here, because you are not welcome here.  I think that I am a fair tipper.  I mean that I am actually a generous tipper.  I do not leave a giant mess on the table, I consolidate my trash onto the plate, I do not stack dishes or drink containers.  

But here's the thing about tipping wait staff.... You see, I usually dine alone.  As a female that can mean that I will not get the best service.  Some wait staff do not care -they give everyone good service, no matter what.  And sometimes,... yes, the wait staff sees a female dining alone and thinks to themselves "bad tipper".  And then they live right DOWN to their own expectations.

You can probably guess,... if I am waiting over long to even place my order to begin with, that server just lost a dollar off the tip.  If the server can only just get my drink and food to the table and then disappears, chances are that cut the remainder of the tip in half.  It can get worse from there.....  NO, no, I am NOT being unreasonable.... I don't expect the server to stand at my table and wait for me to dictate my needs.... but I do expect my server to be pleasant, to be reasonable quick --I want hot food to still be hot when it is set in front of me.  And I expect my drink, always soda pop, to be refilled or replaced regularly.  If I never find a server to refill the drink at all.... I might leave a 10% tip.  That's not fair to the server, but if they are not attentive, and pleasant....that's what they worked for.

Now, that said, I am an observer.  Especially in restaurants.  I am paying attention... it is busy? Did I overhear the host/hostess say that they are short-staffed?  I do consider those factors! and if I still got my drink refilled, at least once, I will tip accordingly.  My complaint is against those servers, wait staff, who see a female dining alone, and, as I described above -they manage to serve me a drink and my food as ordered, but then they disappear.  They think that I won't leave a good tip and they proceed to live right DOWN to their own expectations.  OR they make sure to have the person that is not in their little "in-group clique" to wait on me.,.... and that's fine, because that mousy girl that the other servers do not like -she gives me fantastic service, and if I have noticed that she seems to be picked on, or "out-group", I will give her a great tip.  Truly good servers or wait staff know that they should never judge any patron to be a lousy tipper.... 

Wait staff! Hear this: always remember, and please never forget, that the single person, who you think does not look "fancy" enough, may be the best tippers.  Please treat all of your patrons equally,... even the asshats.  Be the better person.

After all of that,... I must confess that I have a "trick", and it is very VERY effective.... ESPECIALLY when I am dining alone,... in fact, exclusively when I am dining alone... when my server appears at my table, hopefully seconds after I am seated.... I look that server in the eye and I place a five dollar bill in the center of the table.  And, voila! I have the most attentive server in the place!  If they begin to disappoint me the 5 is changed out for 4 ones.... and so on,... now a sudden attitude change -quicker drink refill or replacement and that fifth dollar goes back on the pile.  You see how that works.....  The difference just blows my mind, but it works like a charm,...placing the tip at the beginning of the transaction......  think about that.

And do not be an asshat to the server or wait staff.  Just don't.  Remember one of the golden rules: treat others as you wish to be treated.  Be pleasant to the server,.... 

....surely you have seen some "grandpa" sweet talk the waitress from the start.... just be pleasant. And remember too, that a small compliment goes a long way.....  make your dining experience pleasant yourself! 

(without a doubt I can take a few lessons from myself, having written this advice!)