street lights

sweet memories
from early childhood

visiting Uncle Carl and Aunt Eleanor
in their warm living room

The Tortoise and The Hare book
with a record... turn the page when the 
funny car horn honks "aaooga"

on the way home
from Rose Street,
lying on the backseat
looking up as the street lights 
rush past.... on Mannheim....
by the airport....

asleep before we make the 
seven mile trip home.....

like children often do......

counting cars......
what if....


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...in the sky,... what do you see....

It was many years ago.
In my childhood.
One of those lazy days, sunny, some clouds drifting ....

On my father's property, at the greenhouse....
a few will understand where.

With my older niece... Bonnie...
She leads, as we lay down on the ground,
heads close together, 
we gaze skyward.

Bonnie points out a cloud,...
asks me if it looks like Snoopy...
yes! I see that!

We continue to look at clouds and guess at what they look like.

It is warm in the sun.
I feel loved.


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Thank you, Bonnie Sue, for your kindness.

riding a bicycle, gliding on air....

thinking of one person, in particular (Hi Matt), who has seen my bicycle, and thinks it is profoundly hilarious that I would ride it.....

he doesn't understand that riding a bicycle is about the pure joy of sailing through the air with one's feet off the ground, and not at all about what one looks like doing so.....

For, you see, I understand now, my mother’s frequent plea that she wanted to learn to ride a bicycle. 

We would not let her, because we did not want her to injure herself….. And there was never money to purchase for her one of those 3-wheeled adult trikes.

but what she wanted was to feel the wind, rushing at her, blowing her hair, and gliding.... 

to feel free from the earthly bounds of gravity for those few seconds.... 

balancing with the determination that a child possesses to learn the art of the glide that is a bicycle ride.........

my bicycle LOOKS LIKE this one..... it is NOT a Schwinn bicycle, but it is this style.  I got it when I was 40.

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for the record my mother asked for a little red wagon for Christmas one year,.... 

She was about 57 years old at the time.....

To her delight she got her little red wagon.... from her son and his children....

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We'll sing in the sunshine (click here, turn up the volume, and listen while you read.....)
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Yes, it has been a little while since inspiration hit me.square.in.the.face. **wink, wink**

It took a confluence of a tweet that reminded me of the song (linked above) and the photo below... and not so happy life circumstances.  Throw in a side of some kind Facebook friends, and here we are....

Moments that take our breath away.... mine start with music.... Try to Remember (the Kind of September) a song I have a clear memory of hearing when I was only perhaps 3 years old.  A rather melancholy song, that spoke to me, and touched my tender, young soul deeply.  A woman sang the song on The Today Show.  (It could have been in the September just prior to my 3rd birthday.... not sure.)

When I was 4 years old I was given a record player.  Just a plain, portable, turntable. And a stack of 45s, generic, no "popular" singers or bands.  But that one recording stood out... I am not sure why I chose that particular 45 to listen to, because I know that I did not listen to most of those generic 45s.  Gale Garnett singing We'll Sing in the Sunshine. (see the link at the top of the blog).....  Again a rather melancholy song.  Listening to it, any time, takes me back to that living room, the dull black and white tight weave carpeting, a bookcase, daddy's recliner chair.... and that record player.

Skip ahead a couple of years, and I am listening to my older nieces talk about The Doors, Jose Feliciano, and Sonny & Cher, among others. And my niece, Sandy, played a recording of Light My Fire.  In the boathouse at the lake.  That same summer daddy let me play his transistor radio and I listened to pop radio stations.  Ride Captain Ride, another song I remember from childhood.

Later in life television took a larger role.  But it wasn't until my 4th decade that I started to meet some of the people I had watched on television.  That brings us to the Moments that have taken my breath away,... and now I collect conversations with famous people....  

I won't go into all of the details, but here is a brief list.....
Lani John Tupu, Farscape, Crais and the voice of Pilot.... he knows me! And Lani is delightful to converse with.  And so began my real love "affair" with actors who portray "villains" .... because those are not the roles they expect people to most remember .....  

Michael Gross, in the Law and Order franchise, first in Criminal Intent (Crazy) and then, more notably as Arthur Eastman in the SVU episode Lust.  Partially because I am uncertain of how to begin a conversation with a celebrity I like to ask about an unusual, perhaps more challenging role .... Thus did I take Michael Gross by surprise, when he mentioned starring in Family Ties, and I countered with the SVU role.  He replied, "really?" honestly intrigued.  I explained the truth of it for me: those villains who make me squirm uncomfortably in my own living room - those are the most memorable television moments.  Michael Gross was perfectly creepy and more than a little unnerving... especially for a fan of his Family Ties sitcom.

I have also talked with the man who made Ba'al, the villainous Goa'uld in Stargate SG-1, Cliff Simon.  Who was also intrigued that I found his Ba'al a fascinating character.

Jamil Walker Smith, Stargate Universe, Sargeant Ronald Greer.  I absolutely hated Greer the first time I watched Stargate Universe.  Then in episodes like Lost, Greer's childhood experiences are revealed, giving some insight in the character's behavior.  By the third time I watched the series I had come to appreciate how much Ronald Greer was able to make me uncomfortable.... Jamil was delighted to hear my 'take' on Ronald Greer, a truly unlikeable character, portrayed well by a worthy performer.

There are myriad other actors from both Farscape and Stargate, and a few other programs, with whom I have had some conversations that I will always remember.  

Dan Payne, Alex Zahara, Anthony Simcoe, Gigi Edgeley, Ben Browder,  Peter Kelamis, David DeLuise.  I have, or been a party to convesations with these actors.
I have also met Matthew Modine, Amanda Tapping, Michael Shanks, Christopher Judge, and Stacy Keach... and had a memorable encounter with Scott Glenn.

Those are some of the best memories, that I will never lose.....

And real life things.... trips to Mexico, Hawaii, Niagara Falls(Canada), The Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Saratoga Springs, Wells(Maine), and some memory of time spent in 44 out of the 50 United States.

there is more..... 
but that is for another day....

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they say "you can't choose your family"

...but that just ain't true....

I was nine years old when my daddy died.  I really did not comprehend the finality of that at the time.  I had not even seen him for over two weeks.  I just wanted to tell him that I loved him and I missed him.  They said he was gone. It took a few years for that to really sink in.  Why didn't someone sit down with me and talk about the fact that I would never see him again.  I will never know the answer to that.

Just before my 16th birthday my mother married her third husband.  He was a man from her past; someone she had known most of her life.  He had four grown daughters, and at that time 6 grandchildren.  We (my mother, her husband, and I) had to get accustomed to living in the same house together.  He had to understand that things were a certain way in our home, and he could not come blustering in and interfere with some things. Once we understood each other everything settled down.

he was old, and gentle, and kind.... and he loved his daughters and their husbands, and their families...
And we had some good talks, now and then, when my mother was out..... and the three of us together.
I miss his concertina. He played The Missouri Waltz on his concertina. (just the melody) A lot....

Now we did visit with his daughters and their families quite a bit, which was fine. In retrospect: I thank the Lord for that. I am thankful that I have known his grandchildren nearly their entire lives. 

These are my people.  I will always call them my nieces and nephews,...even the ones I don't get to see very often.  These are the warm, generous, and loving family that some of us could only dream of.... pleasant holidays, filled with love and laughter.  These are my people.  I love them. I would do anything for them.

I am so grateful that those who live nearby do include me.  Every major holiday and most of the birthdays....  I am so thankful to be included.
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pleasant holidays, filled with love and laughter......

you know who you are. thank you. from my heart, thank you.

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well looked-after, a remembrance of a brother.

when I was five years old we took off for my parents annual road trip to Florida, for part of the winter...  always after the Christmas holiday... in January.  

this was the year, though, that we had the accident, and never made it to Florida.  I can remember spending a night or two in a big room in a hospital, with both my mother and father, and I cannot really remember, but I guess there was a roll-away cot of some kind for me to sleep on, or perhaps a sofa was placed in that room for me.  

on one of the following days my brother showed up.  he was my father's younger son, but was an adult, with a child of his own at home.  I guess that this brother came for me because it had been decided that I would go home with him.  perhaps they thought it best that I make the trip homeward with him, so that I would not be confused,...or something.  Anyway, he was very kind and gentle with a frightened little girl who did not want to leave her mommy and daddy.

We first stopped at the local sheriff's office, where the belongings salvaged from our wrecked car had been locked up in a jail cell for safe keeping.  I do not remember the drive homeward at all. It was about 260 miles, and at that time it probably took at least 5-1/2 hours to make that drive.  We went directly to my house, unloaded the goods from the trunk of the car.  There was a conversation between my father's two sons (I will not discuss that here).. and then I was taken to the home of the younger man.  His wife embraced me, their daughter was present.... I know that I stayed there with them, and I know that they were very kind to me during that time.  And that is all I remember of that time immediately after that accident.

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My next memory of this brother, my father's younger son, was a time when I had a loose tooth come out... I was perhaps 6 years old... he said to me, "give me that tooth. I will take it home and put it under my pillow for the tooth fairy."  I looked to the older brother, who nodded at me,... and I handed over that tooth.  "I will bring it back tomorrow." was the promise. 

The next morning I hurried out to see what the tooth fairy had done about that.... and that brother of mine handed me a styrofoam coffee cup, with a smile.  I looked in the cup, and there were a lot of coins in there with the tooth.  More than a dollar.  I hugged him and told him, "WOW, thank you!"

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Many years later, going through boxes of keepsake items my mother had held onto for decades I found a post card that brother had mailed home from his time in the service, in Japan.... it was a postcard made of wood.  I put it in a bubble pack mailer and sent it to him.  About a week later I had a phone call.  That brother, he was surprised to see that wooden postcard, and wanted to thank me for thinking of him.

That brother, my father's younger son,... he was kind of shy, reserved.  He took things to heart.  He was a gentle person. Thoughtful.  

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about 5 years later i called him and his wife one evening.  we spent more than an hour 'visiting' on the telephone.  it was a very nice time, chatting and reminiscing...with them.
i am so grateful to have known these gentle people. 


Thank you, S. and J.  your kind care was (and is) appreciated....

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some kindness you never ever forget
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My Favorite Thanksgiving

My Favorite Thanksgiving…

Well the best funny Thanksgiving story anyway….a few years ago….

It was the year that most of the folks were sick… they stayed home, but sent representatives who were not sick with the flu.  I don’t recall the year, but the littlest one was probably 2 years old.  Certainly old enough to enunciate clearly, and yet young enough to make those utterances that exasperate mommy.  He was so cute!

So, at my niece’s home we were gathered,… I honestly remember this as the group: my niece, her husband, their wee tot, and two of my nephews.  In my memory no one else was present.  That may be why I am the only who still tells the story of that Thanksgiving day.

Five adults and one little boy gathered around the table. We chatted and laughed and generally enjoyed ourselves waiting for the meal to be ready.  Finally all the food was on the table and we were ready to begin our meal.  And that’s when it happened.

Little Caleb piped up, loud and clear, “I want quesadillas!” he announced.  My two nephews and I immediately turned to his mother and, in unison, said, “YOU HAVE QUESADILLAS?” and then we laughed as she said, “No!” to all of us; and then, to little Caleb, “sweetie, it’s Thanksgiving. We have turkey.” 

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Alas, there were no quesadillas served,… and yet every Thanksgiving I get this craving….

And the sweet little boy? He went off to college this year... quite the handsome young man,...
with no memory of the quesadillas that weren't.....

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I still have delightful Thanksgivings with the same folks, usually at one of the nephew's homes.  It is always a pleasure to join this family for holiday meals.  No dissent, no arguments, everyone gets along so wonderfully.  I am grateful to be included in the group.

Truth be told they make every Thanksgiving is my favorite Thanksgiving.

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