Saturday, February 25, 2023

Suspending belief

 I am on a weight loss journey… it’s a slow go, but that’s a different story.

The thing is I don’t want to be struggling with the distracting feeling that my pants are falling down as I slowly lose weight. There is always a transitional phase where the current pants are too loose, but the smaller size is uncomfortable.  Belts are,… an issue, they’re uncomfortable and frankly it’s not easy to find a belt I really like.  I am spoiled because for several years I had a dandy belt, that was more like woven leather – it didn’t have holes, it was as adjustable as any belt can be. Apparently I need to do some more research on the internet to find another like it.  It is belt that I wore frequently for more than 10 years, by way of saying that I remember the day I bought it, why I purchased it, and where I was at the time – more or less.  But I digress…


 About 3 weeks ago I decided to buy some suspenders.  I had been seeing the adverts pop up on the facebook feed and it was getting my attention.  So, I googled “suspenders” that led me to Amazon.  (As an aside I was liking the Amazon delivery feature of Lockers – at a local retail store, where my Amazon orders could wait, safely out of the elements, for me to pick them up more or less at my convenience. I have had some troubles with USPS delivery – and that’s another story.)

 I quickly found what I was looking for on Amazon, and started an order for 3 pairs of suspenders. That’s when the trouble started.  I could not get it to accept the delivery address of the Amazon Lockers – not any place I tried!

I decided to connect with Amazon customer service to try to find out why.

To my utter amazement the customer service team had absolutely NO CLUE what suspenders are… I am sorry that I only screen shotted a portion of the dialogue:


To be fair to the young man this is what he sees when he looks where I direct him:




He cannot envision this being folded up and placed in a small mailer bag.  And I have ordered 3 of them! They must be enormous. 

So my question is this:  IS EVERYONE AT AMAZON that ignorant?

---- insert facepalm here ----

I mean either no one at Amazon knows what suspenders are, or they have some kind of agreement with the vendor to have the vendor direct ship the items, but they cannot simply tell the customer that.  (unbelievable)

After wasting like an hour on that nonsense I went to the source and ordered my suspenders from:

https://www.suspenderstore.com/womens-suspenders.html

 

They shipped fast, and the small wee package fit inside my mailbox! Will wonders never cease…..

 I think that I am done with Amazon now.  (Plus the cost was lower without the middle man.) 




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For the curious: I have cut way down on sugar and carbs, but I am not calculating for keto... it's called "dirty keto".  I have not lost a lot of weight, but I do feel better, and a lot of inflammation has gone away.  That's all I'm gonna say at present.

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Saturday, February 11, 2023

Arrested … wait!What!?

I feel the need to preface this with the disclaimer that it was all a huge misunderstanding such as happens, especially in Illinois. (insert facepalm here)


Arrested … wait!What!?

It was January 2008.  I had a job that required my truck driving skills. The main reason that I was hired was because I had a CDL – commercial drivers license, Class A – what you need to drive the big rigs.


That’s right. I have a CDL-A license and, briefly, drove a big rig. It was a Freightliner M-Class, it was red, it was a nice, heated sleeper, with less than 30,000 miles on it when it was assigned to me.  That means it was pretty new by trucking industry standards.  There are reasons why I quit driving.  There are things that most people don’t know and truly don’t want to know about the life of a truck driver.  But I digress…

 

January 2008.  I have an upcoming assignment to go and work in Iowa with my supervisor, and I will be expected to drive the rig.  My supervisor does not have a CDL, so he cannot move the vehicle.

Driving home, the night before the Iowa assignment, I was a little wound up about the trip that was to begin bright and early the next morning.  I was distracted.  Despite the fact that I knew the speed limit changes on the rural route I took to get the 40 miles home from the office…. I was speeding. I had failed to slow my car down from 55mph to 45mph – the required speed for the stretch of road I had entered.  Wouldn’t you know it – the locals had complained about the people who thought it was just fine to go as fast as they pleased on a country road.  So, I was stopped by a Deputy County police officer.

Damn. Well, okay, here’s my license.  I was thinking that this would be easy enough, the nice officer would go back to his squad car and look my drivers license over… and let me think about paying more attention.  But no.  Not really.  He did take my license to his squad car all right, and he called it in, and probably checked to see who my license plate was registered to.

Then he came back to my car.

He was holding my driver’s license at arm’s length – AWAY from me – as he told me that I was driving on an invalid license.  Invalid license? I actually laughed out loud, right in his face.  “Officer that license is valid all right. I have been using it to drive up and down the East Coast, and states mostly East of the Mississippi River, for the last couple of years.”

He took my license and went back to his squad car.  I could see that he was talking on the radio, and waiting for responses.  Finally, he returned to my car.  “Ma’am, I have talked with my Sergeant about this, and I am sorry, but I have to arrest you.”

About this time a flatbed tow truck arrived.  Law enforcement in that county doesn’t waste time, honestly.

I was told to just leave everything in the vehicle as long as I had my wallet on me.

Apologizing the officer said he had to handcuff me. “Regulations ma’am.”  The process was done gently and loosely, and he asked if I was comfortable as I got into the back of his squad car.

Now this was feeling mighty surreal.  Then again, life ought to be an adventure, right? And since I am not the type to get angry with law enforcement, I took this as a learning opportunity. Just sat in the back of the squad car thinking about how weird life can be.  I told the nice officer that my brother-in-law had been a police officer, and I have a nephew who was also in law enforcement.  He made an “mm-hmm” sound.  I asked how he had found this path in life, but he declined to answer.  I thanked him, anyway, for being in law enforcement, and shepherding the safety of others.

By this time we had arrived at the county courthouse and jail facility.

Inside the building the cuffs were removed and I was instructed to empty my pockets.  There was a lady officer to take my belongings, and as I watched she logged them on an itemized list.  Excusing myself I reached into my bra to retrieve a small zippered wallet containing cash. I told her there was money in it, and she asked me to take the money out and count it for her.  A little over $400 in “emergency” cash, untouched for several years, just riding with me everyplace I went.  She said, “ah, bail money. I will remember to have you bail out before very long.”

Then I was escorted to a holding cell.  In the cell were 2 “illegal” Mexican women, and 1 little “white trash” gal about 20 years old.  The 20-year-old immediately wanted to know did I have enough money to bail both of us out.  Yes, um no, sweetie, I only have enough for me.  I succeeded in not rolling my eyes at her as she told me her tale of woe. She was wearing very tight skinny jeans, and a “hoochie-momma” shirt – very revealing, with a jailhouse orange shirt over the top, because no one wanted to see her almost naked bosom.

This is what the jailor called a "hoochie mama" shirt. 
Note the wide open side...
 


There was a phone in the holding cell.  Collect calls only.  Now this was in the time when one might still know a few phone numbers by heart. (thank God)  My first call was to my supervisor’s cell phone; and my second call, and third call too.  My supervisor got 3 lovely messages in a stern male voice informing him that: “This is the ------- County Jail. Suzanne Breier is trying to reach you. Will you accept the call?"  (The only thing I was allowed to say was my name. - The phone would play the message it left on his phone each time – to my horror.)  When that avenue did not pan out, I called the next, and only other phone number in my memory at the time: my step-sister.  True to her self she was at home at that hour, it must have been 8:30 pm or later by that time.  I told her where I was and that I didn’t really have time to explain, but I was going need a ride, and someone to drive my car after I bailed out –( which by this time I had been told would happen shortly.  Sweetheart that she is she got one of her sons and they drove 60+ miles to meet me at the county towing facility later.

The lady law enforcement person came to get me.  I had go through the system – get photographed and fingerprinted – which was interesting because they no longer used ink, but a touch screen device.  Then she called me a cab.

The cab driver knew exactly where he was going.  There is only tow truck service that county uses. Arriving at the tow facility before my step-sister, I was so flustered that I paid the cab driver with 2 twenties, for a $23.00 fare, and failed to collect my change from him.  God bless him, I hope that dandy tip was helpful him somehow.

The tow guy was a decent enough fellow.  Knowledgeable as you might expect he asked me if I had towing on my car insurance.  I did.  He kindly wrote the receipt ticket as a “tow” so that I could get reimbursed for the $300.  (The kindest thing about that night, along with my step-sister and step-nephew.)  I then went and stood out in the road and waiting for a car to come along.  I recognized the headlights coming into the little town – it was my nephew’s car that I had sold to him. (A really fine 2003 Chevy Impala.)  What a relief it was to see them.

Now here’s a kind of funny bit: the tow guy had told me the address where I could pick up my car.  “It’s in my mom’s driveway,” he said (to my shock), he then rattled off and address and, “Third Avenue, go one block south and turn left.”  Hahaha! My car was in his mom’s driveway! If only I had known I could have simply gone there and taken the car! (I ALWAYS have a spare car key on me.)  But then I’d have been in real trouble.

 

Now I will explain that this was all a HUGE misunderstanding, courtesy of the State of Illinois, the truck driving school I went to. (those dirty rats!) 

PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THIS NEXT BIT:

You see, I went to truck school in Wisconsin. I lived in Illinois. They set us up in little apartments for the 3 weeks of truck school – establishing residence – in Wisconsin. At the end of truck school the DMV sends out licensing staff to perform the road test from the school location, because we need the semi Tractors and trailers to do the road test. (that is another story of it’s own) 

So, I took my road test in Wisconsin.  They took us to the local DMV office to get our CDLs – in Wisconsin.  Because I lived in Wisconsin for the past 3 weeks I was considered a resident of Wisconsin for the purpose of obtaining my CDL license.  I SURRENDED MY former Illinois plain auto vehicle drivers license to Wisconsin, because it’s illegal to have 2 drivers licenses in your possession, and it was the only way they were going to give me the CDL.

Next the truck school personnel tell us, “when you return to your home state go directly to the DMV and get a new license with your correct address on it.”  Right.  The second day I was back in Illinois I went to a DMV facility that would issue me a CDL license (not all of them did at that time).  I took the paper test, and surrendered my 2 day old Wisconsin CDL license to the Illinois Secretary of State DMV.

BAM! THIS PERSON DOESN’T KNOW IT, BUT THEY DON’T HAVE A LEGAL DRIVERS LICENSE.

WHAT?!!  It’s convoluted but I had surrendered my former Illinois license to Wisconsin, who they were in no hurry to send those surrendered licenses back to their home states.  Who even knew that they did that!

To sum it up:

I surrendered an Illinois driver’s license in Wisconsin.

Wisconsin issued me a new Wisconsin CDL driver’s license.

I returned to Illinois and quickly surrendered the Wisconsin CDL in exchange for a new Illinois CDL.

Now here’s where it goes sideways:  my former Illinois drivers license gets sent to the Illinois Secretary of State office, MONTHS LATER. And the Illinois Secretary of State office, in their infinite wisdom declares that this person does NOT HAVE A VALID DRIVERS LICENSE henceforth.

 


Got that?  Okay, a year and a half LATER I get arrested in northern Illinois for driving on an “invalid” license, that was not actually invalid.

Now, get ready for this: the Illinois Secretary of States office KNOWS ALL ABOUT THIS!

Yes, the morning after my arrest my boss has had to come to Crystal Lake from Rockford at 3:30 in the morning, to pick me up for our trip to Iowa.  This was NOT the original plan, but at some wee hour of the morning he and I have agreed that I cannot drive myself anyplace without a valid driver’s license. (both of us were actually afraid of law enforcement catching us ACTUALLY doing something illegal)…

So on the way to Iowa, with Mark driving, at 8:00am I call the Secretary of States office in Springfield Illinois. I explain my plight and the lady says to me, “Oh. We know all about this.” (OMG!) and she tells me that I will be perfectly okay to drive the CDL required vehicle because I have the ticket – the one that says “invalid license” on it…. Because if Iowa law enforcement calls to check it out they will be told what’s what.  Okay, yeah, sure thing.  The ONLY driving I do in Iowa that week is to move the work CDL required vehicle about 10 miles to a different job site, and then back the 10 miles to return to the original job.

 

What an experience!

Then I had to call the truck school and get documentation from them…. And look up a bunch of other information to provide to the lawyer I had to hire to get the arrest expunged from my record….. $906 dollars later…. By the way: you don’t get bail money back! And no one I reached out to cared that I was out $906 because the state of Illinois is stupid. (anyone who lives in Illinois understands)

And Thank God for Mark, my supervisor, who fought for me to keep my job because it was all a big (confusing) misunderstanding.  And thanks to Christina, the other person I worked with in Iowa for being my driver that week, other than when I had to drive the CDL vehicle.

 Also, many thanks to my step-sister and her son.  Family.



Epilogue:  law enforcement had taken my first Illinois CDL the night of my arrest. I was told, several times, that they had destroyed that “invalid” driver’s license.  Several weeks after the court date I received and envelope in the mail… it contained the NOT DESTROYED and not invalid driver’s license. There I stood, like a true criminal, holding 2 driver’s licenses in my hands…. THAT is illegal.  (insert facepalm here)  Thanks a lot Illinois Secretary of State Office.

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