There, but for the grace of God....

This morning, as I sat in the cafe, early in the darkness, I watched an imposing figure approaching.  A large man, whom I instantly recognized as homeless.  I did not see him enter the cafe, but I certainly noticed when he seated himself in an armchair, in a corner opposite my booth, out of view of the staff.  They had not seen him enter the cafe either. The man appeared to be glaring at me, as he settled himself.  I did not look directly at him, so I misread his glance.

I will admit to being nervous, as I realized that he was parking himself with intentions to remain as long as he was not noticed.  After a while I turned my head and noticed that he was curled to the side, resting his head on the side table, silently sleeping there.  My fear did not yet rest. I hurried to get a water and return before he might awaken.  Then I quickly used the ladies room, still afraid to leave my things at the table unattended for too long.  I am now ashamed that I sent a pm to the cafe webpage that there was a homeless man sleeping in their establishment.  And, when I finally made a dash to get a tea and egg for myself, I told the staff - face to face - that there was a homeless man sleeping there.  I was told that he does come in here sometimes. I went back to the pm and deleted it.

An hour later the owner's mother showed up.  She gently woke the sleeping man, and gave him a cup of coffee.  Clearly she had also told him that he could not stay.  He slowly got to his feet, snapped his coat shut as I observed from my corner. I grew more ashamed of myself, and considered offering to buy him some food.... decided that I did not want to find him here every week looking for me to provide him with sustenance.  But I noticed that he had no gloves. It is a very cold morning. He took his cup of coffee and made his way outside.

The homeless man stepped aside from the entrance and stood near a trash bin on the sidewalk.  I took gloves out of my pocket and left my booth. Depositing my now empty plate in the bin I went directly out of the door.  "Excuse me sir. Do you have gloves?" I asked him.  He said that he did not.  "I want you to take these," I told him.  They are just the inexpensive, knit gloves from the discount store, but they will keep his hands warm.  

The homeless man took the gloves from me with a "thank you ma'am."  He smiled just a little bit.  "oh, ma'am, please." he stumbled for the next, then, "do you have, I would like to be able to get a sandwich...."  I look up at a scarred face, receding hair line, one eye not quite right somehow, his brown skin wrinkled from having napped on his coat sleeve.

I took some change out of my pocket, "I can give you some coins." and put the coins in his hand and back away again.  As I turned to rejoin my belongings inside the cafe, he said, "Thank you, ma'am, and you have a nice day."  I told him he was welcome and the same.

There, but for the grace of God, go I....

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