you can't have everything

I have reached a place where I feel like I am experiencing a reawakening of sorts. I feel more alert, alive, and aware.

Now that could be caused by some of the vitamins or supplements I take, as I change them up from time to time.  And I may have added something my body was lacking.

It's new energy.  It follows changes at work that lay a bit more responsibility on my shoulders.  Being super busy, and challenged at the job can be energizing too.

I don't have a memory of feeling more accepted by coworkers.  I mean a general cross section of fellow employees.  From the manufacturing guys to the president of the company; I feel accepted by these folks.  Despite the fact that I honestly do miss my former supervisor here, I am realizing that I may actually be happy here.

.... work's great ... home? not. so. much.  Oh well, you can't have everything.

I have more energy, and less aches and pains.  This is mostly due to diet and supplements.

I am doing modified carnivore again, which means that I eat mostly beef, which I am actually starting to crave.  I have been consuming far less sugar and almost no carbs these past few months.  I have not lost weight, but I feel better.  There is less inflammation, less pain; except that right knee... but I have not had a medical treatment for it in over 7 months. 

Anyway. that's the state of things in my life as we await a new administration in the United States of  America on January 18, 2025.

HERE IS A FUNNY:

THIS MADE ME LAUGH! -
IT'S EXACTLY HOW I WANT MY JOB TO BE

For years I have told anyone who asked 

that I want a job where there's ALWAYS something to do.  

I love to be busy at my job.

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The Turtle story

 It was a Friday morning when I came upon the turtle. 

I had left the house early, planning on arriving at work an hour early to make up for time taken off earlier in the week.

The drive was not terribly different from any other day, for the first mile or so. What I call a mile or so includes a major intersection followed by a winding road and a left turn to follow Bell School Road. 

The roads deserted I made the left turn and saw, on down the way, something dark in the roadway.  I wondered what is was as I noticed that it moved slightly.  Approaching slowly it finally became clear that the thing in the road was a fair-sized turtle.  Damn.  It’s crossing where the creek runs under the road through a culvert.  Why couldn’t it traverse the culvert!

I can’t simply drive around the thing,.. shortly the road will be swarming with morning commuters who think that they can drive as fast as they please.  I travel this way myself; twice every week day.  I do not want to see the turtle flattened and in view every day …

Since the roads are deserted here I stop the car, jump out, and approach the creature.

“Move!” I command it, knowing that won’t help at all, as the turtle stopped moving as soon as I stopped the car.

This turtle is not tiny – at least a foot across the shell – this would probably damage a car with low clearance. 

I reach down and start to grab and it jerks it’s head violently and snaps!  A snapping turtle, eh? Okay then, I will need to be quick.

I grab the thing on both sides, as far back from the head as possible, and rush to the other side of the road – the direction the turtle was heading when I arrived.  I toss it lightly into the deep grassy vegetation on the roadside and hurry back to my car.  A school bus has just turned onto this road and is approaching.

Quickly I get into the car, turn off the hazards, and then I realize that my hands stink from touching a damp creature,..holding onto it tightly, GROSS!!  I try some hand sanitizer as I drive slowly on toward the red light intersection.  No, that’s not good enough; I grab 2 tissues from the box on the passenger seat and use them to grip the steering wheel.  It’s a couple of miles to the nearest place where I can wash my hands.  Arriving at the new QuikTrip I rush inside and thankfully the ladies restroom is right by the side entrance – I wash my hands for several minutes, more than once.

Arriving at work several minutes later, I immediately go to the restroom and wash my hands again.  Oh what a stink that was!

And that is the story of the turtle.  June 7, 2024

Gloves ! haha! if only there had been time for that -- or time to think about taking a picture.

Alas, there are no shoulders on that road, no place to get out of the roadway.  

Sorry - no picture of the actual turtle I moved.  As for size, as best as I can remember my thumbs were not close to each other when I gripped the creature, there were at least 3 or 4 inches between my thumbs, and it was not terribly heavy.  I think that it was kind of shocked that I picked it up, it didn't do more than snap again as I was preparing to drop it.

It looked this this, but the one I moved was smaller than this.

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Smoking

 The girl, Margie, was only 14 years old.  She had started smoking at age 12, because her cousin Sheila, 3 weeks younger than her, smoked. 

“What brand do you smoke?” Sheila asked with a smirk, and a wink at her friend Shelly.

“Kools.” Margie replied too quickly.  She just said the first thing that popped into her mind.

The other two girls made a face at each other.

“Well, we can smoke Kools while you are visiting.” Sheila replied.

…….

So, now, at 14, and smoking Marlboro cigarettes, Margie had never actually inhaled while smoking.  This is about the day she decided to inhale.

Margie left the house early and walked behind the school located next door.  At the back of the building, out of sight of the street, she pulled the pack of Marlboros out of her jeans, drew one out of the pack, and lit it off a match.

Margie sat down on the low mound of earth and inhaled deeply.  Almost immediately it made her head spin.  The vertigo was extreme and frightened her badly.  She thought of Susan Hayward, the actress who had died from a brain tumor. Then Margie tried to stand up, but the vertigo got the better of her and she sat back down, afraid that she was going to vomit.  She looked at the cigarette in disgust, and broke the lit end off, stuffing the remainder of the cigarette back into the pack. 

She thought, “Oh my God, I’m dying!” and “what will I tell mother?”

She remained sitting on the low mound of earth for several minutes, and finally the vertigo passed.  After several minutes it dawned on her that inhaling the cigarette smoke had caused the vertigo. No one had ever told her that inhaling would have that effect. 

Feeling better with the vertigo passed, she got up and started heading for home.  

That was more than enough adventure for one day.

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www.quitassist.com/5-keys-for-quitting.

and I won't tell your name

Warmth.

Loving tender caresses each upon the other.

We were one once.

Holding hands was everything, my beautiful love.

In another life, long in the past.

I miss you.

In past lives.

I have loved you for a thousand years.

The dynamic is altered in different lives lived.

sometimes lovers, sometimes family

different each time.

Why were we separated.

I will search for you across all eternity.

Love never dies.

------------------------

I just want you to know who I am

"I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand"

I won't tell your name

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"I have died every day waiting for you"

a thousand years

-------

sometimes sweet 

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About the Deep Thaw-ts blog

I have had this blog Deep Thaw-ts for over 10 years now... very nearly 11 years.

There is a variety of articles here: some long and rambling memories of my past life, and some short, lyrical (or not) poems, or heartfelt reminiscences.  

For the long, rambling posts: I thank you for your patience.

For the short, poetical posts: I thank you for being a fan.

When I think about this blog, and the varying posts I think that what is written is coming from where my personality (personalities?) are on a given day.

Believe me, when real inspiration hits: I run with that, and do my damnedest to not turn it into a long and rambling tirade/dissertation.

What comes is what comes, and I am well aware that less is more, as they say.

If something I have written has somehow helped you: God Bless.

If I have offended you: too bad, get over it. This is who I am.

If I have not offended you: please be patient as I will get to you eventually. 😉😎

{if you mistakenly came to this place thinking that Deep Thaw-ts 

is something other than "deep thoughts - defrosting my brain cells" 

- shame on you, and you deserved to be disappointed}

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Winter weather

 It's the big storm.

It stole in during the wee hours, when we were asleep.

Quietly the snow dusted everything. Then the big, wet snowflakes fell, still silent for awhile.

The wind kicked up, just a little, but still the snow was quiet.

Cold, I stole up the stairs and lay under the comforter on the bed. Calming warmth.

Later I woke to the not unpleasant sound of snowblowers working to recover the world. The gentle bleat of the plow backing into driveways becomes rhythmic to the melody of the blowers, and the gentle percussion of shovels touching pavement.

Winter is upon us.

Next: the deep freeze.

The Final Saturday of 2023

 It is a typical Saturday morning for me; awake too early, in the cold morning bedroom.  I spend too much time on the hair, braiding it, deciding I did a good job, and taking the usual blurry photos to remember it by.  More time is wasted as I edit the photos that no one else is likely to see. 

By the time I get down the stairs there is little time before I must leave. I have some of the overnight oats that is prepared and ready to drink, put on my shoes and jacket, and head out.  I heft the computer bag into the back seat of the car, and lower myself into the driver seat.  The drive is uneventful as usual, with the exception of a “Dudley Do-right” who cannot go a whit over the speed limit for a section of my drive.  I usually average around 4 mph over the speed limit on days like today – when I am feeling that I left the house a couple minutes late.

Despite anything I arrive in the library parking lot a full 5 minutes before they open.

Sitting in the car I leave the engine running for heat and to listen to the rest of the song- out of respect for a long-gone group who only had 2 records climb the charts – according to the dj.

The Tremeloes sing Silence Is Golden as I wait in the car for the song to finish.  Two minutes before the library opening, I get out of the car, haul the computer bag out, and head toward the doors.

 

A voice says, “Good morning.”

I turn to look along the lockers to the bench and see a man sitting there. 

He is eating spaghetti out of a foil package.  The strands of spaghetti pasta have the reddish tinge of marinara sauce as they dangle off his fork on the way to his mouth. He is hunched over, leaning toward his meal.

“Why is it so cold?” he asks me.

I reply, “because it’s Illinois.”

He chuckles and keeps eating his meal.

It was the warm, friendly repartee one has with a stranger on the street in passing.

It was the kind of interaction I live for.

It is the kind of interaction I do not get enough of, and I consider talking to the man some more, while I think about who eats spaghetti out of foil, outdoors in the cold weather.  Probably a homeless person.  Nothing against him for whatever his reason is for what he is doing.  I decide that we both had enjoyed our tiny conversation and let it go.  That part: the letting it go, that is what makes these interactions so special.

The Tremeloes: Silence is Golden

from October 2023

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